A time of struggling

I’m sorry for the lack of new post, lately. It’s not because of lack of new experiences to share with my readers. It’s spring and spring has always been difficult for me. Spring makes something to my emotions. It makes me more sensitive and sometimes I cry for no actual reason and things get little “tougher” somehow. The feeling of having “bad luck” in everything I do, when it actually is more about bad choices I made. Depression and sex is also a bad mix, which I also experienced lately. It hasn’t worked that well, with the intimacy, in the past week. My wives understand and they never show dissapointment, and they never get mad at me. They just say: “It’s OK. We love you for WHO you are, not for how you accomplish in bed. Sex IS important, but your well being is even more important.”

I even cry when they say those things to me. They never showed any kind of dissapointment when I “fail” with the intimacy part of our relationship. The one who do get dissapointed is me, and I get dissapointed in myself, for not succeeding with that particular part of the relationship and it also affect my self confidence. But I know it will get better again. It has before, and it will again.

Bare with me. New posts will come, eventually.

Love from me and my wonderful wives

8 thoughts on “A time of struggling

  1. Hang in there,

    Everyday can be difficult when you dwell on the negative.

    Ive had more than my fair share of this spontaneous depressed mentality’s

    Although i usually see it more in the winter.

    However my wife and i send you are best regards and hope things get better soon.

    I dont know about you but thats all i ever wanted to hear. Just that things would get better

    Even if there was no truth behind it ahahahahaha

    -Angie and Zack

    • We all have our ups and downs, I guess. For me, and probably most of Scandinavian citizens, the spring is tougher, mentally, than other seasons. That’s because we’re used to cold and winter, which is mostly for 3/4 of a year.

      I know it will get better, eventually. It has to be. Thanks. I DID want to hear that. 🙂

  2. An old wise man once told me that crying is the body’s way of sorting stuff out. So it’s alright, crying is healthy. And since this is happening during spring, I’d say you’re refreshing yourself, in a way. I hope this brings you some comfort.

  3. It takes more strength to show “weakness” than it takes to show fake strength. Not that I’m saying you are showing weakness, but I don’t have a more accurate word to use now. The coffee hasn’t kicked in yet. I hope you know what I mean here.

    Earth is a hard school. Showing these emotions means they can be dealt with. Ignoring them just makes them worse.

    There have been times when getting down on myself has affected my relationship too. I think they understand. I’m not just saying that. I mean I believe they really do understand in that they are NOT judgmental. They know we are in a hard situation, and they may know us better than we know ourselves.

    I think it does mystify her though. She said “why are you doing this to yourself?!?!”

    • You are right, it takes strength to show weakness! I wonder what she means when she said ” why are you doing this to yourself?!?!” …? Hmmmmm..

      • I’d get in bad moods occasionally. It was like a feedback loop. It happened for no reason. At least for no reason that I can figure out.

        It hardly ever happens anymore. I’m not the same person I was a few years ago. It’s like looking back on a different lifetime.

    • I am a sensitive man and to be that in a world of stereotypes and norms, it makes it alot harder to be the one you’ve meant to be. And I tried not to be so sensitive and emotional and that just makes me very uncomfortable and even unhappy.

      My wives said to me, when I come to this stage of sadness: “Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not and never compare yourself to others.”

      They even said that being “sensitive” and “emotional” is some sort of “spiritual quality” and “self awereness”.

      I recognise that sentence, because my wives said that to me, too. But I know what they meant by that. We shouldn’t judge ourselves, for not succeeding in whatever challenges approaches us. “Failure is just a learningprocess and the more you try, the better it gets.”

  4. sceeano: I think I know exactly what sexspirit1’s lady is saying (only because I’ve cycled through it enough times)… The “this” in her question, ‘Why are you doing this to yourself’, refers to how some of us tend to severely kick ourselves in the ass, over and over, during those times when we need to face, process, and release heavy-duty emotions and ‘stuck’ energies. Instead of caring for ourselves and responding kindly — as we would if a friend or loved one were undergoing this, we attack ourselves, which sends us spiralling further and further into the muck and mire of depression and self-loathing. All our ladies can do at that moment is to look upon us with loving compassion and seek to cheer us up and direct our thoughts toward a more positive, self-affirming direction.

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